Saturday, June 18, 2011

We miss you Jeff......


Jeffery Kenneth Gordon Ratz "Jeff" was born at the South Peel Memorial Hospital in Cooksville on January 25, 1969.  A boy for Ted and Dianne, and a baby brother for me (Michele).
Jeff was a beautiful child and had a pretty normal childhood…..with a few exceptions….at age 6 Jeff slipped and fell while getting ready to get into a neighbours car for a drive to school.  The neighbour, not knowing that Jeff was partially under the car, started to rock it…forward and reverse, forward and reverse……to get unstuck from the snowy driveway.  Mom heard the car revving and the tires spinning and could not see Jeff….she managed to stop the neighbour and pull Jeff out to safety.  I still remember the look of the greasy, rubber marked red snowsuit.
Even younger than that, I was playing with some kids on the street…running in and out of 2 new houses being built down the street.  Jeff and his friends came along and started doing the same thing…..we could get a good bounce on the board on the way in or out….Yikes it makes me sweat just thinking about this…but the board slipped when Jeff was running in and Jeff fell into the excavated footing…not falling the 10 - 12 feet to the bottom…but getting stomach sliced open on a piece of metal and being caught by his hoody on that same piece of metal….he was hanging in the air high enough that an adult had to get him down, get him home so mom and dad could take him to the hospital for stitches…his first of many.
We took a family trip to Florida when Jeff was 9 (and i was 11), with our mom's mom Nanny Picton.  It was a 2 week vacation with the 5 of us in some big boat of a car…driving to Florida and back. Mom says we booked Holiday Inns there and back..and i do remember the many pools Jeff and i swam in.
Once in Florida we visited Disney World and Bucsh Gardens…it was great fun….Talking parrots in afternoon shows…..cotton candy….great rides like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, 20,000 leagues under the sea and Space Mountain.  We saw Micky, Minnie and Donald and the parade of lights at night.  
Mom and dad knew we had to make this trip at this age as Jeff was in a wheelchair within a year…he was 10.5.  I remember the wheelchair arriving…it was blue and white and just a pushable chair for long distances.
As a family we did a lot of fun things like museums, movies and drives in the country…but we loved the winter in Sudbury as we would all go cross-country skiing at a forested area with trails and a club house.  Jeff would be pulled by dad through the woods on a toboggan, so the 4 of us could enjoy it as Jeff was wheelchair bound at this time.  
We also made regular visits summer and winter to Manitoulin Island to visit our cousins the McQuays.  We always had a great time there!  I remember Uncle Tom had a snowmobile and would pull us around the woods in either a sled or a toboggan.  We also would make maple syrup in the spring. 
Jeff went to Don Mills High School for Grade 9, where he was in a regular grade 9 class….but then switched schools to Sir William Osler for grades 10 and 11 and 12 with Mr Sullivan.  Here Jeff was taught regular High School courses but also the life skills he would need to live more independently.  Osler was where Jeff met a few life long friends and had some great memories from.
Jeff liked school so much that he stayed an extra year to help the teachers and students with their work.
Jeff was dealt a few more bad cards and developed pneumonia at age 16.  He was hospitalized for a while…..and we were told then that he was very weak and to be prepared for the worst….Jeff proved those Dr's wrong.  At the age of 17….Jeff broke his leg at Sloan Avenue when both Mom and Jeff fell down the stairs.  Another storey that could have been a lot worse for both mom and Jeff.
Then the big change came……Jeff moved out when he was 18.5!
Mom and dad were moving out of the City to their new house in Lindsay, and neither Jeff nor i went with them…I moved in with Mike's mom and him, and Jeff moved to Bloorview Children's Hospital at Sheppard and Leslie.
Bloorview was (and is) a wonderful place…Jeff had his own room in a wing with 15 other Muscular Dystrophy guys…all around the same age.  Jeff instantly became a social butterfly and travelled to concerts, malls and bars with the other guys.  He was taking busses and wheeling all over the place on his own.
Bloorview gave Jeff a new lease on life and helped to set him up for independent living in the future.  Bloorview taught life skills to all the guys…including cooking, laundry and money management.
Jeff was an avid wheelchair hockey player…and even travelled to Kitchener for the championship tournament.  I believe they won that tournament!
While at Bloorview Jeff got his trachea and ventilator…the machine that would help him breath.  Jeff only used this at night…contrary to the rest of the boys who were on the vent full time.  At this point in Jeff's life a lot of his friends were dying…the average life span with someone with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy was early 20's and they were there.  The ventilators were allowing the boys to live longer but not much longer.
Also at this age Jeff was too old for Bloorview (a children's hospital) and moved out into his own Apartment at Coxwell and Danforth on April 1, 1992.
This was independent living, and Jeff was responsible for everything…delegating his own care, buying groceries and medical supplies…paying bills and arranging for a cleaning lady to clean once a week.

Jeff was a pioneer as he was one of the first boys out on his own….living on a ventilator.  Jeff was the first one to receive and test the CHEK system, a computer assisted device used to answer the phone, open the door, call the attendants, turn on and off the lights and change the TV channels.  Jeff still maintained his downtown routing of going out with friends, but now they met up with each other instead of travelling together.  Again all of this was a huge hurtle that Jeff overcame.
Eventually Jeff was on the ventilator full time and was weaker….travel outside the apartment became harder so he spent most of his time indoors….he would venture out in the warmer weather to a local store but that was about all.
For the last few years Jeff was bed ridden and on a G-tube for eating…though he still enjoyed a taste of whatever the family was having.  He still directed his own care and was living independently, though he was relying upon the attendants and family members more and more.  The CHEK system had been upgraded and improved and was now controlled by a sip and puff system that Jeff could work from bed.  Through the TV Jeff became an expert on Hockey and cooking and loved to watch reality TV.
Jeff faced all his challenges with a strong will and an open mind, he was determined to survive for as long as possible, whatever it took.  Life threw Jeff tons of hurtles to overcome which he did with a positive optimistic manner.
Jeff we love you.

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